The Martha Craft Challenge, Project 28: Framed Pressed Seaweed, Part Un

This project is so EPIC, I have to post about it in parts.  Actually, it’s just so comedically crazy I couldn’t waste good blog fodder.  So while I haven’t yet actually finished the project, I will fill you in on how the actual drying of the seaweed went.

As a side note, I should mention that a good friend suggested I try a fish store– not like a fishmonger, but an aquarium store– to find seaweed.  Brilliant, I said.  So I did, and I found some passable weeds, although they are technically not from the “sea,” since they are freshwater.  But the four-year-old and I had a nice stroll around the shop, looking at the exotic fish, too.

Armed with an arsenal of mediocre seaweed, I began the pressing process.  I should tell you that most projects in Martha’s book get 1/2 page.  There are TWO FULL PAGES of instructions on how to press seaweed.  It is highly labor intensive.  The “pressed seaweed” section of the Encyclopedia falls in the chapter on botanical pressing, but it has it’s own introduction and “basic supplies list.”  There are no less than fifteen basic supplies you need, including things like “nylon netting,” “corrugated cardboard,” “100% cotton rag paper,” and “electric fan.”  Thankfully, the “nail clippers” were “(optional).”

There are eight solid steps to pressing seaweed.  I think the complexity here comes from the fact that you are essentially trying to embed the seaweed directly into the paper– hence, this highly specific 100% cotton rag paper.  The abridged version of the instructions is put clean seawater into a pan, put in a piece of paper and the seaweed, pull the paper out with the seaweed still attached, and dry it.

OK, Martha, I’m gonna stop you right there at “clean seawater.”  Isn’t that an oxymoron?  What on Earth is “clean” seawater?  By definition, I think, seawater is teeming with… stuff.  Right?  How do I know if my seawater is clean?  Can I even get clean seawater in Santa Monica?  Is there some kind of secret filtration process I need to perform?

So I just used my dirty seawater.  Then, the book suggests that you can arrange the seaweed on the rag paper in the water, and if you lift it out at an angle, the seaweed will stay in place.  Um, yeah, not so much with that.  The seaweed does not, in fact, stay in place.  So I just rearranged it once I got it out of the dirty seawater.  (If you are Martha, you need tweezers to arrange your seaweed.  I’m pretty hands-on, so I just used, you know, my hands.)

Here’s my first piece of paper with seaweed on it.  You’ll notice I have the paper sitting on another piece of paper, which is “blotting paper.”  I think this special blotting paper cost me seventeen bucks or something redonk like that online.  So I’ve got my seaweed on the rag paper, which is sitting on the blotting paper.  NOW I need netting or mesh to put over the top of the seaweed.  Good GRIEF, Martha, seriously?  I was going to skip this step, but then I realized I probably needed the mesh so that the seaweed doesn’t embed into the blotting paper.  Sigh.  I’ve already decided what my answer to “Was it worth it?” is going to be.

Luckily, I simultaneously remembered that I probably had some screening left over from when I made that sandbox sifter.  Ah, remember that?  Good times, good times.  That was only my sixth post EVER, people.  The current post you are reading is 184, yo.

Unbelievably, I found the netting in the garage, so I was able to complete that step.

I seriously can't believe I found that screen stuff.

Now, you put another piece of blotting paper over the top, and then you have to sandwich it in corrugated cardboard.  Eff!  More supplies I’m not sure I have.

We did have old boxes from our last move in the garage, so I decided to go at them with the box cutter.  At this point, I was also tempted to go at the Encyclopedia with the box cutter, but I refrained.  Here I am making squares of corrugated cardboard:

grrrrrr

I’m also guessing the reason for the corrugated cardboard is so that air can circulate within the layers of “sandwich.”  The logic of this step does not make it any less annoying.

Now it’s time to sandwich everything together and weigh it down with books.

here's a big stack of pressing seaweed sandwiches

and now, with books to weigh it down

By the way, if y’all don’t have the Dictionary of Cultural Literacy or the Reader’s Encyclopedia, I highly recommend them both.  Solid reference books.

While I was setting this all up, the cat came over and was all, “Really?  You’re doing this?  Wow, I didn’t think you’d actually do all this.  Hmmmm.  Ok.  I gotta go sleep.”

Lady, you are crayzee.

So.  Next up you have to set up a fan and aim it at the cardboard, I guess to maximize air flow.  I never owned any fans until our air conditioning debacle this summer, so good timing on that.  I hauled one out and produced this set-up:

I had to move everything close to an outlet.

And now, we wait.  A few things I’m wondering about, though:

• one of the most striking things about completing this process was the STENCH.  How much stank will remain when it’s all dried?  Inquiring minds want to know.  I will be the one to tell you.
• will the seaweed actually stick to the paper?  I’m dubious, I gotta tell you.

Besides the disdainful cat, I also had the loopy dog to contend with while I was working.  He will not stand for me being outside without him.  I realized about halfway through that he had stolen some of my seaweed.  Gross.

Totally busted, and he knows it.

I'm just here, hanging out with my seaweed.

He got right into the action when I set up the fan, too.

Enjoying the breeze

He is lucky he’s so dang cute, because he’s also highly annoying.

Ugh, the epicness of this post!  So, it’s all drying.  Part deux to come soon.

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