It was a busy December and I’m getting off to a slow start in January. But Happy New Year!
I did a lot of shopping at craft stores this season, and I’m always stunned at the esoteric craft books that are out there. Especially when you are shopping at JoAnn’s. I’m happy to see them, because I hope to get a book deal to publish several of my own esoteric craft books someday soon. But I have to share some of these full-fledged BOOKS that, like, I don’t know, how can you write a whole book on that?
Like…
Super cute pincushions! I mean, yes, they are super cute. But there are THIRTY-FIVE pincushions to make in here. How many pincushions does one person need? (Readers, I was shocked—SHOCKED—to discover that there’s a whole cottage industry in pincushion DIY books out there. Just search “pincushions books” on Amazon and you’ll be amazed. There’s even Pincushions for Every Occasion, like when you need a cocktail pincushion, or a business casual pincushion, or even a black tie pincushion. Or one for a funeral?)
You can also buy an entire book of knitted meerkats. If you want to make a wombat, or a fennec fox, or a capybara, you are out of luck, becuase it’s ALL MEERKATS ALL THE TIME in this book. How many different ways are there to knit a meerkat? I mean, it looks from the cover like it’s just one meerkat dressed in a lot of costumes. But good on ya if you can sell a whole book based on one pattern.
You can also make an entire book of spoon animals and pen toppers. What is a spoon animal, exactly? Is it like made from a plastic spoon? The good news is this book is only 24 pages long.
I’m going to have to question whether this book belongs in the craft area:
First, it’s like, a whole book?! How bad can your eyebrows be? How many different ways can your brows be fabulous? But also, if you have to consider your brow grooming to be a “craft,” I’m thinking you might need some professional help.
There were plenty of cookbooks in the book section, too, which also confuses me because I don’t think of cooking when I’m at JoAnn fabric. I guess cooking is a craft, but do you need these cookbooks?
60 recipes? Isn’t a milkshake like, put some ice cream and milk in a blender and then whazz it all up? The flavor, I always thought, depended upon the flavor of the ice cream. What’s going in these milkshakes?
In the nacho book’s defense, it does say there’s guacamole and salsa in there, but then it’s not really just Ultimate Nachos, then, is it? No one, and I mean no one, needs 80 different kinds of nachos. Or nachos for breakfast, because you know that’s where it’s going.
Finally, I walked by this product and couldn’t stop myself from taking a photo:
Is that the best name EVER for a product?! Phoomph? I love how it begins and ends with the “ph.” Wondering what you use it for? IT’S RIGHT IN THE NAME:
So, let’s have it. If you were writing your own narrowly focused but hopefully marketable craft book, what would the title be? We’re dying to know. Leave it in the comments!
